


Blue Side

by Carmenlire



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Domestic Fluff, Early Mornings, Established Relationship, Introspection, M/M, Post-Episode: s03e12 Original Sin, hints at immortal husbands
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-06
Updated: 2019-03-06
Packaged: 2019-11-12 22:32:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,400
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18019682
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Carmenlire/pseuds/Carmenlire
Summary: Alec's casual reference to being together for seventy years-- longer-- had made something break in Magnus. It had felt like the first desperate breath after almost drowning. Grounding him, Magnus had look at the man in front of him and known that while he might not have ever wanted to experience the dismal lifespan of a mortal, if he had to, he wanted it to be with Alec.Whatever time he had left, he wanted to spend with Alec, whether that was a day or a lifetime.





	Blue Side

Magnus doesn’t know why he wants him.

Of all the people in all the world, he had to fall for a goddamn shadowhunter. The very idea should’ve been preposterous-- and it was.

The High Warlock of Brooklyn totally gone over the Head of the New York Institute. Shaking his head a little, Magnus knows that Alec is far from perfect. He can be rude and dismissive and has a tragic habit of self-flagellation that makes Magnus want to burn every shadowhunter who made his boyfriend feel less than.

His idea of flirting was hilariously unsubtle-- though with a wince, Magnus remembers that he’d made his own interest known to Alec in a way that would’ve made him a fool with anyone else-- and Alec could be dense as hell.

Still, Magnus loves Alec. He makes Magnus feel _young_ , like the world hasn’t beaten him to a pulp a time or twelve. 

Studying him in the weak light of dawn, Magnus runs his eyes over his boyfriend’s patrician nose, over heavy stubble and laugh lines just starting to form at the corner of his eye.

Alec’s beautiful and he’s given himself to Magnus in a way that makes his heart ache in the best damn way.

Because they shouldn’t work. Alec never should’ve let Magnus in and Magnus never should’ve tried so hard to break through the shadowhunter’s walls. Their relationship is an anathema in the Shadow World. He’s heard the whispers and Magnus knows that most people are confused at their relationship-- and that there’s a not insignificant portion that feel betrayed that Magnus would be with a shadowhunter and not just any shadowhunter at that-- the heir to the tainted, illustrious Lightwood dynasty.

He knows that Alec’s faced his share of push-back and condemnation from his own circles, from bigoted elders to zealous peers that think Alec’s tumbled down from his pedestal-- from his family’s golden place at the top of the ladder.

It doesn’t matter though, not really, Magnus reflects. They’re secure in their relationship and while his life might’ve been easier had he never met Alec, there’s no contest between easy and rewarding.

So, he’s suffered a little. Well a lot, Magnus acknowledges, more than he'd ever thought he could survive. Losing his title for those few months had been painful-- losing his magic had damn near killed him. Having Alec had saved him though, had been his calm in the storm as he’d adjusted and then fought to regain what he’d lost.

He’d do it all over again, without a doubt. Waking up with Alec in his bed has quickly become his favorite way to start the day. His boyfriend’s snoring is soothing and to his internal ire, he’s had trouble falling asleep on nights when Alec stays at the Institute or stays out late on patrol. 

It’s absurd and the Magnus before Alec would have rolled his eyes, but the truth is that Alec’s burrowed his way right through his defenses, planting himself in Magnus’s heart without him quite noticing until it was too late.

A few years ago, Alec had talked about moments and not wasting them in pursuit of the next memory-in-the-making. The speech hadn’t been anything special, just a conversation in the wake of Magnus’s loss of magic.

It had only been a few days since he’d been pervaded with a persistent sense of emptiness and he’d been itching out of his skin, his perfectly, infuriating mundane skin. All of a sudden, forty years weren’t just a rough patch to get through but his _entire life_.

How different time seemed when it was no longer a bottomless well, when instead he was given a very finite amount of sand, each grain slipping through his fingers before he could process it. It was like he was suffocating, like someone was squeezing his throat with just enough pressure to be noticeable.

Galvanized, Magnus had wanted to see _everything_. Climbing out of bed before Alec woke up, experiencing everything that he’d always thought beneath him-- mornings at the farmers market, juicing oranges laboriously by hand, whisking Alec around the city and capturing every moment with a shitty little camera that Catarina had gotten him as a joke in the nineties.

He couldn’t keep still. It was like his body couldn’t help but propel him forward, eager for something else, anything else.

Everything seemed bright and new and interesting and he needed to see it all before he couldn’t, before it was lost to him forever. Fifty years was nothing to him-- he’d spent longer stretches lost in cities he couldn't remember trying to forget the past century. He knew better than anyone that a mortal’s life was but a blip on the radar, short and so easily forgotten.

But Alec, the stubborn, wonderful man, had pulled him back from the ledge of panic he’d been teetering on. Staring into Magnus’s eyes in Chinatown, Alec had talked about being ninety and wanting to remember everything-- and not being able to if it was all was a brisk pause to the next moment, the next memory.

His casual reference to being together for seventy years-- longer-- had made something break in Magnus. It had felt like the first desperate breath after almost drowning. Grounding him, Magnus had look at the man in front of him and known that while he might not have ever wanted to experience the dismal lifespan of a mortal, if he had to, he wanted it to be with Alec. 

Whatever time he had left, he wanted to spend with Alec, whether that was a day or a lifetime.

And look where they are now, Magnus marvels. Alec would be turning thirty in a few months and their future was an open expanse of possibility. Everything had righted itself-- though not without effort. Magnus had fought with everything he had and some strength besides. 

Rey was a stain on Magnus’s tenure as High Warlock, banished off to Siberia for the next sixty years. Magnus had been welcomed back to his former position with open arms and while he wouldn’t forget who had forsaken him, who had betrayed him, it was good to be back and show the world that he wasn’t less just for falling for a shadowhunter, just for choosing to put himself first in this one regard.

Reaching a hand out, Magnus sweeps a hand over Alec’s chest. Leaning over his boyfriend, Magnus stares down at the love of his life-- because, yes, he’s loved before and been loved in return but nothing has ever felt like this, has filled Magnus with such hope and yearning and peace.

Tracing the rune over Alec’s chest with a delicate finger, Magnus follows the lines of the symbol. While he would never had said it before, the stark black is beautiful, stunning, and even more so for what it represents.

Immortality. Forever.

No, they shouldn’t fit together. In another world, Magnus would have laughed himself silly over a warlock and a shadowhunter making a go of things, would have scoffed and snidely commented that the two in question were naive at best and unforgivably, devastatingly stupid at worst.

But as he lowers himself over Alec, resting his head over his boyfriend’s heart, Magnus knows that he doesn’t need to know _why_ he loves Alec. There’s a million reasons why things should never have gotten this far.

There’s a million and one reasons, though, for why they work, for why Alec’s become home to him instead of his loft or the city he found his second-- _third?_ \-- chance in.

As he feels Alec stir, Magnus settles against his boyfriend and smiles as Alec brushes his hair off his face. Closing his eyes, he drifts back to sleep as the sun climbs higher in the sky, warm and content in a way he never thought was meant for him.

With everything he is, Magnus knows that he would do anything to keep this feeling alive in his chest. Nothing else matters when he’s found this-- Alec and love, the two wrapped around each other tight enough to be synonymous.

Maybe it’s fate or soulmates or whatever the fuck anyone wants to ascribe him meeting Alec to. Maybe it’s pure chance and stubborn perseverance but Magnus doesn’t care.

He can’t, not when everything in him reaches for Alec, refusing to let go for everything in the world.

**Author's Note:**

> Catch me on tumblr or twitter @carmenlire!


End file.
